Off then, to Wigan for the third time this season. I really don't mind I guess, but since John Terry is neither a Wigan Athletic nor Everton player, there's the distinct feeling that this may not be the most widely reported game in Lancashire today.
And, not that anybody's asked me, what do we do with a problem like John? Man has alleged affair with colleague's girlfriend. That hasn't happened before has it? The moral climate seems to have shifted to something akin to that of Mississippi in the 1950s (without the racism) and presumably those responsible for said shifting lead lives of unimpeachable morality themselves, although they're not England captain, except for those erstwhile England captains who've been sharing their thoughts with us.
Obviously Terry isn't the nicest person in Surrey (parking his Bentley in the disabled space outside a Pizza Express seems the most casually revealing of the real John Terry) and while he's done something that's morally low, it isn't illegal and obviously it was done without coercion.
Premier League dressing rooms have a way of sorting these things out. For my money, Chelsea won't do anything publicly (I'll bet they were more worried about the alleged training ground tours) and since Roman Abramovich has widely abstained from lecturing on anyone's ethics, Terry will keep the captaincy there, but since he has destabilised England's dressing room harmony he'll "resign" the national captaincy. But what do I know? Nothing, as we know.
Anyway, Wigan. Can we dispel the pie myth? They're not that great and to prove it, I had two, one a sort of steak and the other mean and potato, both with gravy that's as beefy as, um, John Terry.
There's a double whammy of despair: it's the coldest I've been all season and the game's an absolute shocker, which Everton just about deserve to win.. I could have still done with more words though, if only to say how disappointed I am in Hendry Thomas. He really looked the part in August and September. He looks lost now.
Mark from the MOS and Jeremy from the NOTW (see those abbreviations, that's hackspeak) cheer me up, but they look warmer than me and they seem to be wearing more clothes than myself. There's a moral there. Afterwards, David Moyes is cagier than zoo-reared lion, but Wigan's Roberto Martinez takes a lurch into the surreal and not merely when he doesn't answer my question about whether Wigan are in a relegation struggle (in fairness it's not a "yes" or "no" right now).
Instead, he explains at some length that half his defence mark zonally and half mark man-to-man. For all the hacks' scepticism, it's a fascinating theory, but it surely means that Titus Bramble bumps into Maynor Figueroa too often to keep Wigan out of the relegation struggle. As John Terry's dietician may have told him: you can't have your cake and eat it.
There's a lot of roadworks on the M6 isn't there?

Playlist: Pink Floyd, The Final Cut.
Not everybody's favourite Pink Floyd album, but for reasons we can only speculate on, I'm entranced by its all-pervading air of disappointment and ennui. And the tunes are fantastic.